Are You A Good Lover?

There are two things that make for a good lover . . . communication & technique.

Communication
Without good communication skills you can not be a good lover.  You are lost.  Let's examine what needs to be communicated and how to communicate it.  First, you need to know what your lover likes and dislikes.  This includes everything from how she is kissed to how much pressure she likes on sensitive areas.  In order to establish the answers to these questions you must encourage your lover to talk.  That means establishing a relationship whereby she knows that her suggestions and/or comments will be greeted as constructive rather than demeaning.  It should be noted that it is your lady's responsibility to present her desires in a loving manner, taking your feelings into account.  However, she should not be afraid to speak!  Ask questions.  Find out her deepest fantasies and try to incorporate them (or aspects of them) into your lovemaking.  Talk after sex about things she particularly liked or disliked and tell her what you thought.  Encourage talk and prompting during lovemaking. "Yes, I like that" or "No, move lower" are simple communications that result in a wealth of knowledge.  Ask for suggestions on how to please her.  Also ask about non-sexual acts that please and pamper her.  And remember, communication can be more than just sound.  Some of the most telling communication is through sight, smell or taste!  If your lady greets you wearing high heels and a body stocking that vision should signal she is ready to play!  If she is wearing a special perfume you should notice that.  And if she tastes sweeter than honey you should let her know!  Tell her what there is about her that turns you on.  Once you have established good communication you can move on to technique.

Technique
Good technique consists of many things.  You must be able to create an atmosphere that communicates sensuality and tells your lover that you want her.  This includes keeping yourself well-groomed and desirable. You must be good not only with your genitals but with your mouth and hands as well.  You must know all of her erogenous zones and how to pleasure them which, with all the ladies I know, means every inch of their bodies.  Use different positions.  Try new things like various locations, costumes, role-playing, erotic pleasure objects, massage oils, S&M, B&D.  (I realize this blog is only providing suggestions at this point, not instruction, but we will get into the actual "how to" in other blogs)  Meanwhile get yourself a good guide to lovemaking such as "The Modern Kama Sutra," "The Art of Sensual Massage," or "365 Sex Positions."  An important part of lovemaking is what you do after.  You should hold your lover and tell her how happy she makes you.  This is the ultimate time for communicating mutual needs and desires.  Ask her if she is satisfied.  Did she have multiple orgasms?  If not you are not finished!  Bring her to climax manually or orally.  You lady's satisfaction should always be your ultimate goal.  When you are both satiated and in each others embrace you can say you had a mutually satisfying sexual experience!

Have Fun,
Lady's Man

Sensual In-Home Spa

Everyone needs time to totally relax and rejuvenate.  This can be done at home with a "Spa Day."  The most important aspects of a spa day are: no distractions, complete indulgence and attention to detail.  Spa days may be done in private or may include a partner.  A suggested spa day includes the following steps:

• Find a trusted person to care for your children and/or pets, if necessary.
• Turn off ALL telephones, machines or other devices that are inherent interruptions.
• Lock the doors and disable the doorbell. Place a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door.
• Program some soothing music.  I suggest the "Master Composers," New Age, or Classical Guitar.  The music should run on a loop or long enough that you do not have to change CD's. (Remember the details!)
• Make your "spa" smell delicious with incense or fragrant oils.
• Turn off the lights, (all of them), and light candles.  I once treated my lady to a "spa" lit by 100 candles!
• Gather the products you will use to pamper yourself.  These may include skin care items like mud facials, bath salts, massage oils, skin creams, etc.  You do not want to be searching for these items once you have begun to relax!
• Enlist a hand-held massage device or, (if you have opted for a "couples" spa day) have your partner prepared to provide a great massage.
• Run a bath using lots of bubbles, oils and salts.  If you own a whirlpool use that!
• Pour your favorite drink.  I suggest fine wine, expensive cognac, aged port or champagne.  Remember to use your finest stemware. ( I have black "Mikasa" flutes for champagne, delicately etched glasses for port, crystal snifters for cognac and hand-blown glasses for wine.)
• Apply a facial mask if you have opted to do so.  Take your time.
• Slowly sink into your bath until fully engulfed by the warm, sensual water.
• Breathe deeply and clear your mind.
• After some time, (if you have a partner present), they may bathe you. Remember the details and leave no place untouched!  This is a good time to receive a manicure and pedicure.
• Gently remove your mask and pat yourself dry.
• It is time for your massage.  If you use a hand-held device, cradle it in your hand and slowly massage every area you can reach.  If you are lucky enough to have enlisted your partner/lover they should provide a sensual massage using aromatic, silky oils.  This should be a "full-body" massage!  (I should have noted earlier that your lover should be silent throughout most of your ritual with this being the one exception.  They may now whisper to you how lovely you are and comment on your beauty in general.)
• Sleep for a time.

When you awake you should be treated to the most decadent of foods, either prepared by your partner and fed to you, or taken at a spectacular restaurant.  Your attire should be something that makes you look amazing, if at home, wear nothing at all!

Naturally, this would be a wonderful time for some romantic lovemaking!  Not only does it feel good it's good for you!  Remember to dress the part.  Wear something that makes you feel sexy, perhaps a body stocking and high heels!  (Remember the details.)

Try not to end your spa experience until the next day when you gather your children and/or pets and return to reality.

Metta,
Lady's Man